birthday month plus trip month

I was going to post this right after my birthday celebration that night
though it was far far far far for already one month late
but I still get up from bed and finally have the times and mood to update my blog


Basically, I'm officially 20th
Yeapppp, 20th bitch had arrived this year
Have to say I'm feeling older but more appreciate that start to step in the '2x' year


I think this is the first year I didn't celebrate with my family
got so many ' coursework' to do in tat shitty uni but am really enjoy this
okayy, I am really so contradicting

Actually, I was not expecting so much more than what they had done
It was a failure surprise but yet it really touched me
thank for my shabai group, they really worked hard and planned well
no one to blame but me - am too super sensitive when the date is coming
Big big kiss to my weiwei xiao jie that planned everything and bring me to eat 'good food'


For my best ever jimui shabi feimui , thank you !
thank you for purposely coming down to just watch my face and offer a meal
I'm lucky enough to meet you and to know you
although you always act like a shitty bitch, but you also act like a sistar-listener every time
thanks you for always appear immediately when i need someone beside or someone to talk to


soooo that's my memorable birthday day in this year


So on, i am still a busy student who always rushing assignment without limit
time was flying - I always hate time that because it never seems enough for me
and yet, skip the chinese new year part
I went back to school on 'chu five'

start to prepare everything that needed before going to sekeping serendah trip
The difference between being a student and being a leader student is big
I never want to be responsible to some thing and some people since after primary school
But incident always happen larh

like I became one of the group leader in this trip
and what we know were- there were so many things to prepare and also
be on time , be responsible to lecturer and classmates- carry on

At the end, this was not bad
I feelllll so , maybe ?
This three days two nights trip was exhausting , fascinating, tiring, and existing
most important parts was- we get to know more about our lecturers
all those midnight chit chat girls talk, ghost talk, was amazing
pretty tiring when you got to finish your drawing for the next morning presentation
when lecturers - they are sitting there , seeing us and talking with us


The trip are cool, lecturers are cool
just the accident was not cool at all
we hit a car crash on our way back to uni after a lunch
four cars bang together
and imagine how terrible it was
my heart at that time beat like helll
can't imagine if anyone get hurt or whatt

Feeling of guilty never stop till now
but feel blessed that my mum is okay with this
and others were safe- really



friends are more like a chain that will link you
with happiness , with sadness, with anger and with comfort
The more you been together, the more you know each other
sometimes quarrel happens, sometimes you just hate this
I duno, but it seems problems never stop when it appear
just tired and fatigued
have no ideas and not going to involve in such things again
maybe I just have to used to it
and time always a healer - it heal everything in the end


love ya , xx
super hungry right now
i wan sleep

Hate is love whatever oh

Everything is fine.  People is fine,  things are fine,  just me was  not me again

Recently I realised how important money is
Oh, you can't get what you need without money
You can't buy what you should have
You can't think of something that might be  your favourite one?

I got my salary on last day of two thousand zero five
Maybe some one will have an image of me like
I'm the one who don't even care and use it without hesitation 
but I do admit, sometimes I am
But I had try to learn, to control my limit as I'm studying at kl
It is a temptaness for me

And I got to know
How hard and tire to work 24/7 to get these salary in a month
Barely wanna die right , huhhhhh

Since you can't get what you want, and why you don't push it harder

Now I am, started my semester two and here I am
Busy preparing everything for my assignment every night or midnight
Life is so so so like every seconds you got to live it with ur heartbeat that is beating fascinating until the end of it

Boom away all the unhappiness
Swap away all the sadness
Curved out all the tiredness
Plug in all the craziness

I cried today
When I'm ready for my damn first time presentation
Uhhuhhh. You know that
Tears drop over again when the pain just came soooo suddenly
Fuvk offff. Cheers
I hate it
nothing to blame but am gonna leave this alone
Maybe some day it will stop these crazy acting
And I'm waiting for this day
Ohnana

And I got to say
Eveytimes I cried and I got my mum in my head
and so did dad
this is weird famIly bonding
I miss you dad, do you?
May God bless us each day
when we wake up from bed

Love ya. Xxx

2016

Time has been flying by unconsciously from the beginning of the year.
from now on, 2015 was a past
Actually , this post had been in the draft for almost three days
I wrote down some part and delete some and put it in draft and drag out rewrite again
And I always think of it - when will I post this on my blog ? No idea

So I got a mood for today  , to sit down and open my laptop
trying to convert my thought and feelings into words and sentences
becuz i guess today is the perfect day that better than any day

In 2015, I learnt a lot
It was just like the other years, I loved and I lost, I cried and I laughed
I knew I'd been writing too many emotional post in this year
But I'm glad I wrote it down (anyway past is the past )
I still have a lot to learn in being a better friend, family or a crew
I get my result during mine working time and that was the first time I thought that
I wont't have any regret for the decision I had made in my education
That was a pretty fresh memory
I learnt that having a plan is better and more convenient in your daily life
I learnt that sometimes you just have to let go, if it is meant to be, it will always be
I learnt that sometimes people change, to be good or bad
I learnt to enjoy everything in the moment whether it is worth or not

In 2015, I had met a lot of new people, built new relationships
And stayed close with the existing ones
Feel so thankful for those who never left
I'm also glad for those who came into my life
Thank you for making 2015 a memorable and sweet year for me
I celebrated end of 2015 and beginning of 2016 with my bunch of shabai friends
although some were not able to came over, but our hearts will never separate apart
Love you all !


There are two things I need to recall in 2015
- get a 12 hours work per day in December ( BBW Book Fair )
That was the biggest step I'd move
we worked in the Mines mega mall And I stayed in my friend's house
Good experience in my life
although suffer all along the weeks but it was fun and cheerful during the times
Get to met so many people from different places and different university
They taught me a lot , like really a lot HAHA


And the second was ( Big brother's wedding )
It was the very first wedding  in our family
My cousin finally get to marry his lovely wife
So many things to prepare and so many things to learn
----------------------------------------------------------------

Just flip on , Here I wish
everyone a prosperous and healthy 2016
May all of your dream come true
Lots of love 💕💕💕
love ya, xxx

Hi november

To all my fellow classmates, Happy happy happy Holiday guys !!! Like finally, it's our sem break 

I just feeeeeel so happy that we been through all these ( six months ) four months together. 

Blessed to meet all of them in my life 

I always hope degree year will be a more particular life, but i never aspects it will so much different

It is so much different that you need to burn your midnight oil everyday 

It is so much different that you do you dont have to bring any paper works while attend class

It is so much different that you get used to it for just having few hours sleeping times in a week

It is so much different that you use a cutter more than a pen 

其实我真的很害怕以后有一天会后悔自己所选择的决定

我知道自己就是死脑筋 决定好的事情就说一不二

我不知道曾几何时就有这个念头 这种感觉来的太突然 

还记得小学的志愿是当个会计师 当模特儿 当空姐 

上了中学就想说当个服装设计师吧 画家啊 或者音乐家

可是最后我选择了建筑策划师

很多人都对我说这一科不容易读 而且时间也久

不知某年某日你才真正当一名xxx 

可我已经选择往这条路走下去  那当然不会再往回倒

My mum always remind me dun forget to be confident 

It is a power/energy that keep you continue to walk 

but things dun always stay to be good 

that was some times you will lose confident to yourself 

you will scare you cant pass your final exam at the end 

you will scare your project will reject by lecturer

you will scare that you will let your mum down. 

I know is normal that people feel confused sometimes 

like we will afraid things will fall down apart that really hurt you badly

谁没有害怕过？ 谁没有迷失过 

就像当你认为你已经付出了100 巴仙的努力 可是结果却让你大受打击 

那种感受并不好受 

可哭的当时你又得告诉自己 哭过后又得继续努力 继续奋斗 这样才不会被打败 

那时候你就会觉得  对啊  这就是现实啊 没有所谓的踏步青云 

还记得那时候赶着final 的internal review 

我把我手指头的一片肉差不多就要割下来了 血都流了满地

朋友问我 伤口那么深 不痛吗 你都没哭呢  

那真是他妈的痛啊 我也想哭啊  眼泪都在眼眶里打搅着

可我知道这不是家里啊  这里没妈妈没姐姐帮你  凡事都得靠自己

还是把那所谓的眼泪收收吧 你还得继续赶final

其实那时候真的想狠狠的哭一场 躲进棉被里好好睡一觉啊

如果说在学业上有那么一点点的小打击 

但我可以说在生活上有大大的惊喜与激动 

上了degree 让我接触了很多不一样的东西 

不一样的人和事  不一样的沟通和学习 

自认自己以前是个宅女 

不出门 不交际 只呆家 只打机 只看小说 只依赖家人 

我觉得这是一种成长 就好比如你一直拒绝任何事（大多数）到慢慢的尝试接受

foundation life was like a quiet period that i'd been through

i was like a good student that on time eat, sleep , and study

never had a thought to go outside never wanted to participate any activities

never wanted to touch any things that I thought i had no interest on 

I think maybe we are in a right timing and in a right place 

to meet someone that are meant to be appear in our life

It's not that foundation year was not that good 

maybe because I had been through that year 

the year that let me scent that this year is more brilliant than the last

people always need to live more good and good than before

more step forward to the precious one in their life. 

and then you will realize that life izint how big you had see it

life is more and more 

 I know sometimes people see it in their own way 

and people meant it in so much different way

because different people have different perception

we dun aspect people to see it in our way

we just need to share it ( sharing mean caring )

Just want to officially say a goodbye to my pet - kiki 

He passed away at end of September

I didnt had the chance to say goodbye and rip to him 

I was not by his side when he was so ill and sick 

I miss him a lot 

and I cried badly when I heard from mum that he gone that day 

He is not the first hamster that i got but he is the most precious one in my heart

I like white , things or living things that have white colour I love it with no reason 

He was so adorable and sweet that make people wanna tresure and love him with full of heart

We been together for almost two years 

Never regret to have you in my life ( secretly bought him when parents opposed me to have a pet )

So im gonna stop here ----- again  

got to fetch my sister back melaka tomorrow morning

gonna go sleep  sweet dream

love ya  xxx