2015年11月14日

Hi november



To all my fellow classmates, Happy happy happy Holiday guys !!! Like finally, it's our sem break 
I just feeeeeel so happy that we been through all these ( six months ) four months together. 
Blessed to meet all of them in my life 
I always hope degree year will be a more particular life, but i never aspects it will so much different
It is so much different that you need to burn your midnight oil everyday 
It is so much different that you do you dont have to bring any paper works while attend class
It is so much different that you get used to it for just having few hours sleeping times in a week
It is so much different that you use a cutter more than a pen 

其实我真的很害怕以后有一天会后悔自己所选择的决定
我知道自己就是死脑筋 决定好的事情就说一不二
我不知道曾几何时就有这个念头 这种感觉来的太突然 
还记得小学的志愿是当个会计师 当模特儿 当空姐 
上了中学就想说当个服装设计师吧 画家啊 或者音乐家
可是最后我选择了建筑策划师
很多人都对我说这一科不容易读 而且时间也久
不知某年某日你才真正当一名xxx 
可我已经选择往这条路走下去  那当然不会再往回倒

My mum always remind me dun forget to be confident 
It is a power/energy that keep you continue to walk 
but things dun always stay to be good 
that was some times you will lose confident to yourself 
you will scare you cant pass your final exam at the end 
you will scare your project will reject by lecturer
you will scare that you will let your mum down. 
I know is normal that people feel confused sometimes 
like we will afraid things will fall down apart that really hurt you badly

谁没有害怕过? 谁没有迷失过 
就像当你认为你已经付出了100 巴仙的努力 可是结果却让你大受打击 
那种感受并不好受 
可哭的当时你又得告诉自己 哭过后又得继续努力 继续奋斗 这样才不会被打败 
那时候你就会觉得  对啊  这就是现实啊 没有所谓的踏步青云 


还记得那时候赶着final 的internal review 
我把我手指头的一片肉差不多就要割下来了 血都流了满地
朋友问我 伤口那么深 不痛吗 你都没哭呢  
那真是他妈的痛啊 我也想哭啊  眼泪都在眼眶里打搅着
可我知道这不是家里啊  这里没妈妈没姐姐帮你  凡事都得靠自己
还是把那所谓的眼泪收收吧 你还得继续赶final
其实那时候真的想狠狠的哭一场 躲进棉被里好好睡一觉啊





如果说在学业上有那么一点点的小打击 
但我可以说在生活上有大大的惊喜与激动 
上了degree 让我接触了很多不一样的东西 
不一样的人和事  不一样的沟通和学习 
自认自己以前是个宅女 
不出门 不交际 只呆家 只打机 只看小说 只依赖家人 
我觉得这是一种成长 就好比如你一直拒绝任何事(大多数)到慢慢的尝试接受

foundation life was like a quiet period that i'd been through
i was like a good student that on time eat, sleep , and study
never had a thought to go outside never wanted to participate any activities
never wanted to touch any things that I thought i had no interest on 

I think maybe we are in a right timing and in a right place 
to meet someone that are meant to be appear in our life
It's not that foundation year was not that good 
maybe because I had been through that year 
the year that let me scent that this year is more brilliant than the last
people always need to live more good and good than before
more step forward to the precious one in their life. 
and then you will realize that life izint how big you had see it
life is more and more 
 I know sometimes people see it in their own way 
and people meant it in so much different way
because different people have different perception
we dun aspect people to see it in our way
we just need to share it ( sharing mean caring )




Just want to officially say a goodbye to my pet - kiki 
He passed away at end of September
I didnt had the chance to say goodbye and rip to him 
I was not by his side when he was so ill and sick 
I miss him a lot 
and I cried badly when I heard from mum that he gone that day 
He is not the first hamster that i got but he is the most precious one in my heart
I like white , things or living things that have white colour I love it with no reason 
He was so adorable and sweet that make people wanna tresure and love him with full of heart
We been together for almost two years 
Never regret to have you in my life ( secretly bought him when parents opposed me to have a pet )


So im gonna stop here ----- again  
got to fetch my sister back melaka tomorrow morning
gonna go sleep  sweet dream
love ya  xxx


2015年9月11日

Diary : 11/9

How y'all doing ?
Erg ...... Ugh...... owhhhhhhh
Okayyyyyy, just some times to warm up
before really writing any nonsense words here
I just noticed there are so many drafts that I'd in my blog
some with meaning and some - meaningless


when you try to write somethings, it takes time
what you gonna to say , you write it down
and then you delete and retype and delete and retype...
that's what im doing right now
I always got so many things to tell
I feel like I need to tell someone what i'm thinking, what i'm feeling ?
I was like: maybe i should tell them/him/her
Why shouldn't I ?
and when the time that I wanna split it out
and I was like :::  SHit ... why am i suppose to tell others about my feeling ?
I rather be keeping it inside than spoke to someone - even the closest


Well , I spoke to her sometimes. or (often)
I feel secure when beside her and the most important thing is
I feel warm and happiness
It's just too normal to be with her
spending times with someone you really trust or love or like
just likes spending the whole entire times within
and you doesn't care how's the times going


So, I want to blog about my August since it is Sep now
I stumbled across my old pictures
There are full with memories and joyful
I could see my smiling face all over the pictures
 i was shocked and i was like:
How could you possible act like this, smile like this and pass through these days like this

I got a bunch of lovely classmates
they come from different places but all full with one desperate heart
It feels really amazing how we are going through with a same path
and how lucky we are to meet each others
i called these as fate

No matter how hard things gonna be
erm, just keep doing  what you do
I oweys think shitty things when im doing nothing
It's a bad habit
but this is who i am right ?
there is no hundred percent people in this world
so why cant you be proud of what you are ?
These things make what you really are
your own personality
Hundred percent original


Kekekekekekeke
Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I'm talking (typing) too much
wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
i gone through shitty things these daysssssssssssss
but i guess dah over
Those shiiiiityyyy things make you more tougher than before
more stronger? Hmm
I miss my mum
so suddenly \
and i guess she miss me more than that
I'm home
it feels really good



love ya
xxx


2015年8月11日

2015/8/12

Gosh.... see the clock on the table and i was like
I still can't sleep .
the clock is ticking , and so am I
they are sleeping soundly , and so am I sitting here writing my blog

I do feel fear sometimes
when it came around over the midnight
likes it popping and beating in your minOd
reminding you  some things that you never want to recall agn

I got my time twisted
work at night and sleep at morning
My time was full with assignment , model, and drawing
It's pretty sure what i'm enjoying what i'm doing
but sometimes, i'm still doubting whether
am I choosing the right path

Am I suppose to be here
for anything that happen now
Im doubting, questioning and scared
sometimes.

That feeling just like a flash light
It appears at a moment and it disappear very soon

People need to be strong, tough enough
That's what im thinking all the time
think and Do is a different things
It's easy to think and it's hard to perceive

Don't ever beat by the failure
be tough enough to stand up and said
I'm still fine, I'm still ok to keep going

so awkward to be so encouraging haha
I think is time for the bed time.

see ya,
xxx

2015年8月9日

其实知道自己很久没用华语打字
突然间写回,莫名有点怪怪的感觉

今天纯粹上来发泄
太多废话想说 可是无从下手

开课已经一个月了
从无发适应到渐渐习惯是一种可怕的事情
当你认为自己没法做到的时候
时间帮你证明了一切

每一天的熬夜
都在redoredoredo
每一天的赶夜车
都能感觉到一点点的进步

与人相处是需要耐性和忍让
我不知dao
我只知道 能认识是一种缘分
我遇见你,便投缘,虽然相处时间不长
但那种感觉实实在在
喜欢就喜欢 不喜欢便罢

合不来 不强求
你不爽我 你不喜欢我
干我什么事
我没有太多宇宙时间去理你

人说变就变
真的让人觉得恐怖
没有想过的结果能让人措手不及
怪自己 不乖别人

nima 真的觉得好恶心
受不了了 虚伪的你
滚远点吧 孩子